Anxiety Therapy
When your mind and heart don’t align...
Anxiety is a topic close to my heart. I often think of it as a moment when our mind and our heart don't quite align - and our body begins signalling that something needs our attention.
Sometimes we know exactly what we're anxious about. Other times, we simply feel that something isn't quite right, without knowing why or even how to explain it. Our mind might be telling us one thing, our emotions another, while our body speaks through tension, restlessness, a racing heart or that uneasy feeling we just can't shake.
Anxiety can be exhausting. But when we slow down and become curious about what our mind, emotions and body are each holding, it can begin to make a little more sense.
Anxiety Can Look Different for Every Woman
Anxiety isn't always panic attacks or obvious fear.
Sometimes it looks like:
Overthinking and a mind that won't switch off
Constantly worrying about what could go wrong
Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
People-pleasing or worrying about disappointing others
Difficulty making decisions
Needing reassurance
Feeling responsible for everyone around you
Struggling to say no or set boundaries
Feeling like you're never doing enough
Being highly self-critical
Difficulty relaxing without feeling guilty
Tightness in your chest, shallow breathing or tension in your body
Feeling restless, overwhelmed or constantly “on”
Trouble sleeping because your mind keeps going
Sometimes underneath all that anxiety sits an even quieter fear:
I don't see anxiety as something “wrong” with you that simply needs to be eliminated. Often, anxiety has developed for a reason.
Overthinking might be your mind's attempt to prevent mistakes.
Perfectionism might help you avoid criticism or rejection.
People-pleasing might have helped you maintain connection.
Trying to control everything might create a sense of safety when uncertainty feels uncomfortable.
These patterns may have helped you at some point in your life. The problem is that what once protected you can eventually become exhausting.
So rather than only asking: “How do I stop feeling anxious?”
In therapy, we might also become curious about: “What my anxiety might be trying to tell me?”
Understanding What Sits Underneath Your Anxiety
Sometimes anxiety is connected to what's happening in our lives right now - work pressure, burnout, relationships, motherhood, change, uncertainty or carrying too much for too long.
Other times, physical or biological factorsmay be contributing to how you feel - illness, medication, hormonal changes such as perimenopause or menopause, recovery after surgery, or your body’s response following a frightening or overwhelming experience.
Some other times, the roots go further back. Perhaps you grew up feeling that you needed to be good, responsible or successful. Maybe mistakes were criticised. Perhaps you learned to keep other people happy, avoid conflict or put their needs before your own. Maybe your emotions weren't always understood or there wasn't much room for you to struggle. Some people relate to these experiences through the language of trauma or childhood emotional neglect. Over time, they can shape beliefs such as:
I need to get things right.
I can't let anyone down.
I should be able to handle this.
I need to keep everyone happy.
I'm not enough.
Anxiety therapy isn’t only about managing the symptoms. It can also give you space to gently understand where certain patterns came from - without blaming the past - and explore whether they still serve you today.
My approach to anxiety therapy is holistic and integrative - checking in on all aspects of your life.
How I Work With Anxiety
I take an integrative, trauma-informed approach to anxiety therapy, which means we don't only focus on your thoughts.
We look at the whole person: mind, emotions and body.
Mind
We explore the thoughts, beliefs and patterns keeping anxiety going - overthinking, catastrophising, perfectionism, self-criticism or the need for certainty and control.
You'll learn to notice your thoughts without automatically believing everything they tell you.
Emotions
Anxiety sometimes sits on top of emotions we haven't had space to understand or express - fear, sadness, anger, shame, grief or guilt.
Together, we can gently explore what you're feeling and what those emotions might be communicating.
Body
Sometimes anxiety lives in the body and shows up through a tight chest, a racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping.
We can work with grounding, breathing, mindfulness and body awareness to help you understand your nervous system and develop ways of creating greater safety and regulation.
Therapy Isn’t About Never Feeling Anxious Again
Anxiety is part of being human.
The goal isn't necessarily to eliminate every anxious thought or feeling. It's to help anxiety take up less space in your life. To recognise what's happening before becoming consumed by it, to trust yourself more, to tolerate uncertainty without needing to predict every outcome, to make mistakes without believing they define your worth, to set boundaries without being overwhelmed by guilt, to understand what you need and feel more comfortable expressing it…and sometimes, to even normalise it.
And ultimately, to feel a little more calm, grounded and connected to yourself.
You Don’t Have to Figure It All Out Alone
If you've spent years being the capable one, asking for support might not come naturally.
Therapy offers a space where you don't have to have everything figured out. We can slow things down, become curious about what's happening underneath the anxiety, and gradually find different ways of relating to your thoughts, emotions and yourself.
Anxiety therapy for women is available in Wynnum, Brisbane Bayside and online across Australia.
“You need to make people anxious in order for them to change.”
Esther Perel
Want to explore anxiety a little more?
What if anxiety is not something to fight, but something to understand? In Part 4 of the Demystifying Anxiety series, explore gentle ways of working with anxiety through curiosity, self-awareness, grounding, and emotional healing.