Demystifying Anxiety Part Four: How to Deal with Anxiety — From Fighting to Understanding

So far, I’ve explored anxiety from a few different perspectives - what happens in the mind, the body, and the heart… and how the inner conflict between them can become the space where anxiety lives.

If you haven’t read the previous part, you can find it here.

Now, I want to take it one step further.

🌿 Befriending Anxiety

In my own journey - what I’ve come to call “befriending my anxiety” — I came across a beautiful book by Sarah Wilson, First, We Make the Beast Beautiful.

As the title suggests, the “beast” is anxiety.

And the invitation is a surprising one:
not to defeat it, not to silence it… but to understand it.
To even, in some way, make it beautiful.

What if we became curious?

What if, instead of pushing anxiety away, we turned toward it — gently?

• Where do I feel it in my body?

• When does it appear?

• What might it be trying to tell me?

When we begin to listen, something shifts…The intensity softens. The fear becomes more understandable. And the relationship we have with anxiety begins to change.

Perhaps anxiety is not trying to harm you at all.
Maybe, in its own way, it is trying to protect you from something.

🌿 Gentle ways of working with anxiety

This doesn’t mean we simply “accept” anxiety and do nothing. It means we begin to relate to it differently.

Some gentle invitations:

• Name it
  “I am feeling anxious” or “My mind is anxious” rather than “I am anxious”
  → creating a little space between you and the feeling

  Externalize it. You are not your anxiety. It is something you experience - not who you are.

• Return to the body
  Notice your breath… are you even breathing?

  When we enter a fight-or-flight state, we often hold our breath - and THE BREATH becomes one of the most powerful tools we have, especially for an anxious mind.”

  → Try a few slow breaths:
  deep inhale through the nose, followed by a longer, slower exhale through the mouth.

  The long exhales are crucial - this sends a signal to your nervous system that you are safe. Even a few conscious breaths can begin to soften the intensity.

  As you breathe, gently bring your awareness to your body - your feet on the ground, your surroundings.
  This helps shift you out of the mind, where anxiety tends to live, and back into the body and the present moment.

• Allow, rather than suppress
  Let the feeling be there, without rushing to change it. Stay present with it… noticing it without becoming consumed by it.
  → What might this be pointing toward? … A need? A fear? A misalignment?

• Notice your thoughts
  As you observe your thoughts, gently question them:
  → Are they true?
  → Are they helpful?

• Connect with your anxiety
  Sometimes, it can help to relate to anxiety as a part of you - not all of you.

  You might even speak to it…
  or, as I sometimes like to frame it, speak to “her.”

  Ask:
  → What do you need right now?
  → What would help you soften?

  At times, this part may feel like a younger version of you - a little girl in need of reassurance, safety, or care.
  You might gently place your hands around yourself, offering yourself a hug and say to her:
  → “You are safe. You are held. You are enough.”

Listen inward
Maybe what’s needed is simple:
rest, space, time outdoors, a holiday, a conversation to be had, or just a moment to be with yourself.

Share it outward
Sometimes, awareness is the first step… and the next is allowing it to be shared.

If you find yourself here, you don’t have to hold it alone.
Speaking with someone you trust - a friend, a coach, or a therapist - can bring a sense of relief and clarity. Without that support, the process can at times feel overwhelming.

And if any part of this resonates with you, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you feel drawn to explore it more deeply, you’re welcome to book a session or a discovery call here 🌷

-

So what if, instead of fighting “the beast,” we listened to it?

I’ll leave you with this - anxiety is part of being human. As Søren Kierkegaard said, it is one of the things that separates us from animals - a “nothingness” that reveals our potential to act. It can push us toward growth, change, and even greatness.

What might your anxiety be trying to push you toward?

Mariana from MHealing