Demystifying Anxiety Part 2: Why We Feel Anxious? When the Mind and Heart Don’t Align
Last week, I explored anxiety through the lens of the language we use to describe it, and what happens in the brain - offering a different way of understanding it as a protective response of the nervous system.
If you haven’t read it, you can find it here: Demystifying Anxiety Part 1: What Is Anxiety — Language, the Brain and Why We Feel It.
Today, I want to approach Anxiety from a different angle… and gently offer another way of defining it.
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Anxiety has become one of the most common ways we describe our inner world.
At times, it can feel like we’ve turned it into the “big bad wolf” - something to get rid of as quickly as possible.
We hear messages about pushing it away, shaking it off, not letting it take over. But what if anxiety is not something to eliminate? What if it is something to understand?
Anxiety is deeply human.
As explored in Part 1 - it is closely related to something very familiar to us - fear. Some might even say they are one and the same: an emotion designed to help us survive, notice danger, and pay attention to what matters.
One definition of panic attack my friend gave me and it stayed with me is this:“the moment when your soul does not agree with your mind”. I really really like that.
I find myself extending this to anxiety as well - shaped not only by what I’ve learned, but also by my own lived experience.
Perhaps anxiety is the moment when your mind and your heart do not align… and your body signals it to you in all the ways it can:
A racing heart.
A tight chest.
A restless mind.
Take a deep breath, and pause for a moment.
…The moment your mind, your heart, and your body do not agree with each other…
Does that resonate?
Maybe anxiety is not here to harm you, but to gently say: pause… something within you needs attention.
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From a psychological perspective, Carl Rogers spoke about the tension between the real self [who we are] and the ideal self [who we feel we should be]. When the gap between the two becomes too wide, internal conflict arises.
He described this as incongruence -a state of misalignment within ourselves. And often, that “should” voice is not truly ours. It can be shaped by family, society, expectations… or even an earlier version of ourselves trying to keep us safe.
But somewhere within, there is also another voice - quieter, but more authentic. Anxiety can arise in that space between the two.
Perhaps it is not random.
Perhaps it is pointing toward a deeper question:
→ Am I living in alignment with myself?
→If not… What might need realigning?
If this is something you’ve been navigating, you’re not alone.
If you feel drawn to explore it more deeply and feel like maybe something within you needs realigning - you’re welcome to book a session or a discovery call here 🌷
In the next part of this series, we’ll explore how anxiety develops over time - through early relationships, attachment, and the ways we learned to feel safe in the world.
→ Demystifying Anxiety (Part 3): Trauma, Attachment & Why Anxiety Develops
