When the past continues to show up in the present…
Trauma Therapy
The word “trauma” is used a lot today, and I’m very mindful of the weight it can carry.
That’s why I often like to start with a simpler question: What does trauma mean to you?
Trauma can be what happened
Some trauma comes from experiences we can clearly identify - abuse, loss, violence, betrayal, accidents or frightening events. But our emotional world can also be shaped by experiences that are much less obvious.
Trauma can also be what was missing
One perspective that resonates deeply with me comes from Gabor Maté: “trauma isn’t only about something terrible happening to us. Sometimes, particularly in childhood, it can also be about what we needed but didn’t receive enough of - feeling seen, heard, understood, comforted, validated and loved.”
You may relate more to the term childhood emotional neglect,and sometimes I prefer this language too. For some people, the word trauma simply feels too heavy or doesn’t fit their experience - and that’s okay. What matters to me is less about the label and more about the impact your experiences have had on you.
Trauma can show up in different ways
That impact can show up years later in many different ways: anxiety, a harsh inner critic, low mood, difficulty trusting, feeling unsafe, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or that persistent feeling of “I’m not good enough.”
For me, trauma therapy isn’t about asking “What’s wrong with you?”
It’s about gently becoming curious about: “What happened to you?” “What did you need?” “What did you have to learn to survive?”
Trauma Therapy Isn’t About Reliving Everything That Happened
You don't need to tell me everything immediately. And you don't need to remember every detail of your past in order for therapy to be meaningful. We go at your pace.
For me, trauma therapy begins with creating enough safety to become curious about what's happening today. From there, when it feels appropriate, we can explore the experiences and patterns underneath it. The goal isn't to erase your past.
It's to help the past have less power over your present - so you can understand yourself with greater compassion, feel safer within yourself and your relationships, and have more freedom to choose how you want to live now.
Working with Trauma
My approach is integrative, working across cognitive, emotional and somatic levels - exploring the thoughts and beliefs you carry, the emotions underneath them, and how your experiences may be held and expressed in the body.
I often draw on Parts Therapy, including Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed approaches. Rather than seeing anxiety, anger, shame, people-pleasing or shutting down as something we simply need to get rid of, we become curious about what these parts of you may be trying to protect.
We might begin with an emotion or reaction that is showing up for you today and gently explore:
What am I feeling?
Where do I notice it in my body?
What story or belief does it carry?
What might it be trying to protect me from?
Sometimes this naturally brings us back to earlier experiences and Inner Child Work - reconnecting with younger parts of yourself. Other times, our work stays much more in the present.
I also draw on Humanistic and Existential Therapy, creating space to explore your values, meaning, purpose and the life you want to move towards.
The work is always guided by you, your pace and what feels right for you.
Do we really need to talk about the past?
I get asked this often.
No - trauma therapy doesn't mean you need to tell your whole story or relive everything that happened.
But I do believe that experiences we haven't had the opportunity to process can continue to influence us, sometimes in ways we don't immediately connect to the past. They may show up in our:
Behaviours & patterns
People-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding conflict, overthinking or withdrawing.
Emotions
Anxiety, anger, shame, grief, sadness, guilt or feeling emotionally numb.
Body
Tension, anxiety, feeling constantly “on”, shutting down or finding it difficult to feel safe and settled.
The aim isn't to keep going back to the past.
It's to understand what you're still carrying from it, so it doesn't have to keep shaping your present in the same way.
You Are More Than What Happened to You
The experiences that shaped you are part of your story, but they don't have to define your whole story.
Therapy can be a place to understand what you've carried, reconnect with parts of yourself you may have learned to hide, and slowly develop a different relationship with yourself.
One that feels safer, kinder and more your own.
Trauma therapy for women is available in Wynnum, Brisbane Bayside and online across Australia.
"Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you."